I dreamed Jesus was watching me fixedly as I was sorting through my messy bedroom. His look said, “Are you going to stop fussing with all that stuff? I’m sitting here, waiting. Don’t worry about what you think is wrong with you. Just come. I’ve been waiting to be with you”.
I woke up feeling overwhelmed by the intensity in His eyes. The King of kings was waiting… for me! I think of the Cross often, and what it says about God’s passion for us, but this reality is still sinking in: “God demonstrated His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us“. (Romans 5:8) What more proof do I need to know that I can come to Him as I am?
Even as He does not leave me as I am, and is transforming me ‘from glory to glory’ (as much as I cooperate with the process), His want to be with me even in the ugly stages of transition melts my heart. But this still sometimes has the contrary effect, making me want to run away screaming, “Lord, don’t come near me! I am a sinner.” (Luke 5:8).
Yet, when I venture to return His gaze, and experience Him in the sometimes ‘crazy’, sometimes comforting, sometimes ineffably calming (and sometimes all rolled into one) ways that He ‘shows up’, I’m learning to relax, and stop striving to be worthier (which I can never be anyway), and let Him in.
I have heard God’s touch described as ‘liquid love’. I had no clue what that was supposed to mean, but I think I’m getting a taste. The more I encounter Him, He is so good, it seems too good to be true, and then it gets even better! Incredible. One minute I am rendered speechless, the next, I’m compelled to shout, “See what great love the Father has lavished on us!” (1 John 3:1).
The King is knocking at the door of your heart (Revelation 3:20). Have you been keeping Him waiting?
Teresa Arsenault said:
This is awesome, Hannah. Thanks for sharing. Blessings, Teresa